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Buzz about a possible merger between the titans of pollution, Shell and BP

Posted by John Donovan: 1st August 2024

In a plot twist straight out of a corporate soap opera, there’s buzz about a possible merger between the titans of pollution, Shell and BP. Two decades ago, BP’s John Browne fantasized about buying out Shell, but now the tables have turned, and Shell’s boss Wael Sawan might be toying with the same idea. While this merger remains as real as unicorns, some bits of it almost make sense.

Sawan, fresh from presenting second-quarter results that had analysts wiping their tears of joy, doesn’t really need this deal. Since he took over in January 2023, Shell’s $229 billion behemoth has seen shares climb 20%, all thanks to a disciplined approach to pretending to care about the environment while doubling down on fossil fuels. Meanwhile, BP, with its $97 billion market cap, has seen its shares drop 5%, underperforming not just Shell but also American giants like Chevron and Exxon Mobil. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Latest Genius Move: Dumping North Sea Assets While Pretending to Care About the Environment

Posted by John Donovan 31 July 2024

In a classic “What the Actual F**k” moment, Shell and ExxonMobil have decided to offload their UK North Sea assets to Viaro Energy. Yes, because when you’re done polluting the planet and making billions, why not pass the torch to someone else? Viaro Energy, through its subsidiary RockRose Energy, is all set to acquire these precious assets, pending regulatory approval. Because why wouldn’t the regulators approve another round of fossil fuel profiteering? read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Offloads More Dirty Business: Tenaz Energy Buys Dutch Offshore Assets for $180 Million

Posted by John Donovan: 18 July 2024

In a move that’s as surprising as rain in the Netherlands, Shell and ExxonMobil, the environmental knights in shining armor, have decided to pawn off their offshore assets in the Dutch North Sea to Canada’s Tenaz Energy. For the low, low price of €165 million ($180.33 million), Tenaz Energy gets to inherit all the shiny shares of NAM Offshore B.V., a joint venture that also involves the Dutch government.

NAM operates the infamous Groningen gas field in the Netherlands. But wait, there’s more! This sweetheart deal, expected to close by mid-2025, includes all of NAM’s offshore exploration and production businesses, the pipeline infrastructure, and the onshore processing facilities—just not the assets in the Ameland area. Apparently, even Shell has to hold onto something. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Corporate Accountability 1, Greedy Giants 0

Shell got off scot-free despite strong evidence they were up to their necks in aiding the Nigerian military’s torture and killing spree against environmental protesters.

Posted by John Donovan: 12 June 2024

In a rare twist of fate where the universe temporarily operates on justice, Chiquita Brands was held accountable for its cosy relationship with murderous paramilitaries in Colombia. A Florida jury just slapped the fruit giant with a $38.3 million bill for the deaths of eight people, putting a price tag on human lives lost in Chiquita’s quest for banana empire dominance.

You see, back in the late 90s and early 2000s, Chiquita thought it was a brilliant idea to pay almost $2 million to the United Self-Defense Forces of Colombia (AUC), a right-wing death squad. In return, these thugs made sure the land was ripe for banana farming, even if it meant killing and displacing locals. The AUC, a group so charming they got themselves labeled a foreign terrorist organization by the U.S., happily did the dirty work while Chiquita reaped the benefits. Fast forward to 2024, and the families of eight victims have finally been granted a slice of justice. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

“Godfathers of Climate Chaos”: UN Chief Calls Out Shell and BP, Demands Global Ad Ban

Posted by John Donovan: 5 June 2024

Hold onto your hats, folks. António Guterres, the UN Secretary-General, just dropped a bombshell that should make the fossil-fuel overlords squirm in their plush boardroom chairs. Shell and BP, among others, are now being labeled the “godfathers of climate chaos.” That’s right, the planet-wrecking tycoons might soon find themselves banned from advertising, much like those pesky tobacco companies.

In a scorching speech in New York, Guterres took no prisoners, calling out news and tech media for enabling “planetary destruction” by taking dirty oil money. “We are at climate crunch time,” he declared, unveiling terrifying new data from the World Meteorological Organization (WMO) showing we’re on the brink of surpassing 1.5C warming. The recent 12 months have already pushed the global temperature to a blistering 1.63C above pre-industrial levels. Fun times ahead! read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell and Exxon Flee North Sea Like It’s on Fire, Sell Assets to Viaro Energy

Posted by John Donovan: 30 May 2024

Shell and Exxon Mobil, the twin titans of oil pollution, are almost ready to dump their UK North Sea gas fields onto Viaro Energy for a measly $500 million (£395 million), according to those ever-reliable “sources” from Reuters.

In their desperate scramble to focus on more lucrative ventures (because who needs history or responsibility?), these oil behemoths are packing up from the ageing North Sea basin. This fire sale includes the Clipper and Leman Alpha field clusters, signalling the end of the long-standing Esso joint venture between Shell and Exxon, which dates back to 1965. RIP, corporate nostalgia. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell and Total Plot Move to NYC: Because When You’re Desperate, Anything Sounds Like a Good Idea!

Posted by John Donovan: 9 May 2024

Alright, folks, gather ’round for a classic tale of “The Grass is Greener in the U.S.,” starring none other than Shell and TotalEnergies, the European oil megastars. In their latest “poor us” saga, they’re eyeing New York like it’s the promised land of stock market valuations. Oh, the excitement!

Now, don’t get too teary-eyed, but Shell’s Chief Executive, Wael Sawan, dropped a little hint on his earnings call that if Europe keeps treating them like the ugly ducklings of the stock market, they might just take their ball and go play in New York by the end of 2025. TotalEnergies’ big boss, Patrick Pouyanné, isn’t sitting quietly either. He’s been tasked by the board to mull over this geographical leap of faith and spill the beans by September. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell and TotalEnergies Eye Greener Pastures: The Big Apple’s Stock Exchange

Posted by John Donovan: 7 May 2024

Oh, the drama! TotalEnergies and Shell, those titans of the oil industry, are having a little daydream about moving their stock listings to the flashy stages of Wall Street. Why, you ask? Their current market valuations are as deflated as a punctured oil barrel. Boo-hoo.

In a tragic tale of European neglect and American allure, these two energy behemoths are feeling undervalued back home—kind of like ageing movie stars pining for one last blockbuster. TotalEnergies, the belle of France, is so distraught that even Patrick Pouyanné, the CEO, is openly mulling over a move. He confessed in an earnings call, “There was a discussion with the board.” Yes, folks, they’re “seriously looking at it” because, let’s face it, America is where the big-money parties are. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

US Lawmakers Roast Oil Titans for Climate Circus: Shell Plays Shell Games While Exxon Pulls a Vanishing Act

Posted by John Donovan: 30 April 2024

Well, grab your popcorn folks, because it’s showtime in the political circus! Democratic lawmakers in the US just dropped a bombshell report, and guess who’s in the spotlight? Yep, you guessed it: our favourite fossil fuel fiends, Big Oil.

According to the Democrats’ dossier, oil companies have been twirling their moustaches and cackling maniacally as they pull the wool over everyone’s eyes. It’s like a Shakespearean tragedy but with more oil rigs and fewer tragic heroes. The House Committee on Oversight and Accountability, after nearly three years of sleuthing, finally uncovered the dastardly deeds of Exxon Mobil Corp., Chevron Corp., and our very own Shell Plc, among others.

The report reads like a thriller novel, accusing oil companies of a laundry list of sins. From pretending to support the Paris climate agreement while secretly planning their next fossil fuel fiesta, to hawking gas as a clean energy solution while conveniently ignoring its planet-roasting properties, these guys have truly mastered the art of deception. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell and Co. Dance to the Tune of Deception: Big Oil’s Big Tobacco Moment

Posted by John Donovan: 28 April 2024

Welcome to the latest episode of “Guess Who’s Ruining the Planet Today?” Surprise, surprise, it’s none other than the bigwigs of Big Oil, who’ve been keeping up their ‘charming’ tradition of wrecking the environment while lining their pockets with gold.

Enter California’s knight in shining armour, Attorney General Rob Bonta, who’s decided to take on the corporate leviathans like BP, Shell, ExxonMobil, ConocoPhillips, and Chevron, along with their trusty sidekick, the American Petroleum Institute (API). Why? Oh, just for orchestrating a little thing called the climate crisis.

Bonta’s not pulling punches either; he’s slapping them with a 135-page lawsuit, armed with what he calls “smoking gun” evidence. And guess what? He’s not alone in this fight. Dozens of states are lining up to join the fray. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell and BP: Time to Jump Ship to the Land of Oil Lovers?

Posted by John Donovan: 19 April 2024

Well, well, well, look who’s feeling the heat across the pond! It seems like Europe’s giving our dear oil giants, Shell and BP, a real headache with all that pesky climate policy and regulatory drama.

But fear not, fellow capitalists! The good ol’ U.S. of A. is rolling out the red carpet, ready to embrace these struggling energy giants with open arms. That’s right, Houston’s calling, and it’s saying, “Come on over, we’ve got plenty of love for oil and gas.” read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Left Sputtering as Netherlands Closes Groningen Gas Field for Good

Posted by John Donovan: 17 April 2024

Well, well, well, looks like the Netherlands is finally saying “buh-bye” to the Groningen gas field, leaving Shell scratching its head and counting its losses.

Yep, you heard it right. The Dutch Senate has slammed the door shut on Groningen, putting an end to decades of gas extraction in the region. No more tapping into Mother Earth for those sweet, sweet fossil fuels.

Why, you ask? Oh, just a little thing called seismic risks. Apparently, all that drilling was causing a bit of a ruckus underground, leading to earthquakes that made buildings shake like a leaf in a hurricane. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Dutch Senate Hits Snooze Button on Closing Groningen Gas Field

Posted by John Donovan: 7 April 2024

In a move that screams “procrastination at its finest,” the Dutch Senate has pushed back the vote on permanently shutting down the Groningen gas field, citing concerns over the country’s energy security. Because who needs timely decisions when you can kick the can down the road, right?

Originally slated for closure on October 1, 2023, and then extended to this October, the Groningen gas field was supposed to bid farewell to its gas-pumping days. But alas, the specter of earthquakes and energy insecurity looms large, prompting the government to consider keeping the field operational just in case winter throws a chilly tantrum. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Oil Giants’ Climate Targets Go Up in Smoke

Another day, another dose of corporate greed and environmental destruction. Will these oil giants ever learn? Or will they continue to put profits over the planet?

Posted by John Donovan 30 March 2024

Brace yourselves for another round of corporate shenanigans, this time starring none other than Shell, the world’s second-largest oil and gas company. In a move that surprises absolutely no one except maybe the most optimistic tree-hugger, Shell has decided to scale back its climate pledges. Saving the planet is just too darn risky for these fossil fuel titans.

Shell’s chief executive, Wael Sawan, voiced his concerns to Reuters, declaring it “perilous” to set emission reduction targets for 2035 due to the “uncertainty” in the energy transition trajectory. Translation: We’re not sure if we want to stop destroying the planet just yet, folks. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell and Co.’s Latest Scheme: Dumping CO2 in Southeast Asia, Because Why the Hell Not?

Posted by John Donovan 28 March 2024

Hold onto your hats, folks, because it looks like the oil giants have come up with a brilliant new plan to tackle climate change: burying massive amounts of CO2 deep underground in Southeast Asia. Yes, you heard that right. After decades of gleefully pumping carbon into the atmosphere like there’s no tomorrow, Exxon, Shell, Chevron, and their merry band of polluters have suddenly had a change of heart—or more likely, a change of profit margins.

You see, carbon dioxide storage is the latest cash cow for these fossil fuel fiends, promising them billions in revenue while they continue to wreak havoc on our planet. And where better to dump their toxic waste than in countries like Indonesia and Malaysia, where regulations are lax and profits are high?

Exxon Mobil’s CEO Darren Woods is practically giddy at the prospect, boasting about securing “exclusive rights to CO2 storage” in these unsuspecting nations. Nothing says “saving the planet” like monopolizing the substance driving us towards environmental catastrophe. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell and Friends’ Climate Change Lies: Another Lawsuit Calls Out Big Oil’s Deception

“These companies have known since at least the 1950s that their ways of doing business were having calamitous effects on our planet, and rather than change what they were doing or raise the alarm, they lied to all of us.”

Posted by John Donovan 27 March 2024

In a move that surprises exactly no one who’s been paying attention to the planet literally burning, Bucks County, nestled in suburban Philadelphia, has taken a bold step in joining the chorus of voices suing Big Oil for their epic saga of deception regarding climate change.

Bucks County, in its lawsuit against a handful of oil behemoths, points fingers at these corporate giants for a litany of sins, including but not limited to, more storms than a Shakespearean tragedy, flooding that would make Noah blush, and heat waves that would melt the polar ice caps faster than you can say “polar bear.” Oh, and let’s not forget the casualties—like the seven unfortunate souls who met their watery demise in a flash flood last summer, courtesy of climate change’s MVPs: oil companies. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.