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Shell Energy

Shell’s Profit Party: Dancing on Oil Barrels While the World Burns

Posted by John Donovan: 6 Mar 24

Oh, what a day to be alive! Shell, our favourite environmental villain, just threw its quarterly earnings bash, and guess what? Profits are through the ozone layer, folks! Up a whopping 42 percent to the highest in over three years, all thanks to those ever-so-gentle oil price hikes and squeezing more out of the earth like it’s an old toothpaste tube. But, hold your gasps, because the plot thickens—or should we say, the oil slickens? Despite bathing in cash, Shell somehow managed to disappoint the world yet again with its cash flow not living up to the high expectations. Who could’ve guessed? read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Grand Exodus to Octopus Energy: A Tale of Corporate Musical Chairs

Posted by John Donovan: 2 March 24

In a move that’s shaking up the energy world with the subtlety of a rhinoceros in a china shop, Shell Energy customers are being herded like bewildered sheep into the welcoming tentacles of Octopus Energy. Shell, notorious for its love letters to pollution and its unquenchable thirst for oil, is passing the baton to Octopus Energy. This grand switcheroo involves a staggering 1.3 million customers, with 750,000 already having been teleported to their new home before they could say “fossil fuels.” read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Plays Hot Potato with Solar Assets: A Tale of Strategic ‘Enlightenment’

Posted by John Donovan: 29 Feb 24

In an astonishing turn of events that will surely leave us all basking in the warm glow of irony, Shell, the poster child for fossil fuel philanthropy, has decided to play a round of hot potato with approximately a quarter of its US solar business, Savion. That’s right, folks, the same company that’s been drilling its way into our hearts (and the planet) is now making a strategic pivot so bold, it might just qualify for an Olympic gymnastics routine. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Latest Magic Trick: A ‘Climate Tech’ Mirage With an Oil-Stained Rabbit

Posted by John Donovan: 26 Feb 24

Well, buckle up, eco-warriors and climate change aficionados, for the latest episode of “How to Paint Your Carbon Footprint Green,” starring none other than Shell, the behemoth of black gold, in its newest role as a green wizard! In a dazzling display of environmental sleight of hand, Shell has pulled a rabbit out of its oily hat with the launch of Onward, a ‘climate tech’ startup. Brace yourselves for a journey into the future of clean energy, as envisioned by the very architects of our current fossil-fueled predicament. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Ponders Ditching Norway’s Wind Farm Fiesta: Too Pricey, Too Tricky, Too Shell

Posted by John Donovan: 15 Feb 24

Gather round, folks, for a tale of woe and intrigue, starring none other than Shell, the planet’s darling polluter and profiteer extraordinaire. In a shocking twist no one saw coming (cue eye roll), Shell might just bail on Norway’s grand plan for its first commercial offshore wind farm. Why? Because, in a plot twist as predictable as a soap opera, the numbers just don’t dazzle them.

Here’s the skinny: Shell, alongside a dynamic duo of local Norwegian utility sidekicks, fancied themselves green warriors by eyeing up the Soerlige Nordsjoe II spot in the bracing North Sea. They dreamt of erecting Norway’s pioneering bottom-fixed offshore wind farm. But alas, Marianne Olsnes, Shell’s Norway country manager and apparent bearer of bad news, dropped a bombshell at an Oslo energy conference. The business case was, in her words, “not looking great.” read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Splurges $14 Billion on a Plant That’s Practically a Comedy of Errors

Posted by John Donovan: 14 Feb 24

In a jaw-dropping display of financial gymnastics, Shell, the beloved titan of environmental stewardship (wink, wink), has officially admitted to dropping a cool $14 billion on their Beaver County ethane cracker plant. That’s right, folks—more than double their initial fairy tale estimate of $6 billion. It seems someone at Shell’s been playing a little too fast and loose with the abacus.

Shell CEO Wael Sawan, possibly while polishing his crystal ball, shared this financial marvel during a recent earnings call. Sawan, who stepped into the CEO spotlight last year, presumably without a magician’s hat, stated, “The fundamental is making sure that the $14 billion so or so of capital employed in Shell Polymers Monaca are generating the return.” Ah, the sweet sound of optimism or delusion? You decide.

As if the plot couldn’t thicken any further, Sawan confessed that the plant, which started its comedic opera of mechanical mishaps from day one, won’t be belting out its full earnings aria until the 2025-26 season. But wait, there’s more! Out of the three polyethylene trains meant to serenade us with plastics, one decided to go off the rails due to “equipment issues,” delaying the grand finale of plastic production. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Dutch Pension Fund Dumps Oil Stocks, including Shell, Like Hot Potatoes

Even the Church of England Pensions Board, known more for its hymns than its hardline stance on hydrocarbons, had already ghosted Shell over its “climate stance” last year.

Posted by John Donovan: 8 Feb 24

In a move that’s as shocking as finding out water is wet, a Dutch pension fund, PFZW, has finally decided that maybe, just maybe, holding onto stocks in oil and gas behemoths like Shell, BP, and TotalEnergies isn’t the greenest idea they’ve had. So, they’ve ditched their shares in 310 oil and gas companies, a divestment spree worth around €2.8 billion, because – surprise! – these companies are about as speedy as a snail on sedatives when it comes to cutting emissions. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Throws a Billion-Dollar Bash as the Planet Heats Up, While Greenpeace Crashes the Party

Greenpeace photo…

Posted by John Donovan: 3 Feb 24

In an epic saga that could only be described as “The Great Gatsby” meets “Mad Max,” Shell, the notorious climate party pooper, has once again danced its way into the headlines.

This time, the British behemoth announced a whopping £22.4 billion in annual profits, all while Greenpeace activists, dressed in their finest mock-Shell board member attire, threw a rager outside Shell HQ, complete with a burning sign aptly named ‘Your Future.’

Yes, dear reader, as the world simmered under record global temperatures, Shell was busy counting its coins, proving once again that while Rome burns, the emperors are having a blast. The eco-warriors, not ones to miss a beat, decided if you can’t beat them, throw a better party. So, they necked champagne, fanned wads of cash, and danced the conga around the blazing truth that Shell seems all too eager to ignore. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Energy UK Hit with Colossal £1 Pound Fine: Couch Cushion Change for Overcharging

The fine, which undoubtedly will make a significant dent in Shell’s finances, comes after the company agreed to pay a mere 1.7 million pounds ($2.16 million) in what they call ‘voluntary redress.’

Posted by John Donovan 10 Jan 24

In a jaw-dropping display of regulatory might, Britain’s energy watchdog Ofgem has unleashed its fury on Shell Energy UK (the artist formerly known as Hudson Energy Supply UK), slapping them with a punishing 1 pound fine. Yes, you read that right – a whole pound! This monumental penalty comes after a thorough probe into the minor issue of the company overcharging its customers.

Imagine the scene at Shell Energy UK when they heard the news. Executives scrambling to check under sofa cushions and in coat pockets for the hefty sum. The fine, which undoubtedly will make a significant dent in Shell’s finances, comes after the company agreed to pay a mere 1.7 million pounds ($2.16 million) in what they call ‘voluntary redress.’ read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Ditches Half a Million Broadband Customers 

Posted by John Donovan: 14 Dec 2023

In an astonishing display of ‘see ya later’ strategy, Shell has decided to bid adieu to the British residential energy market. But fear not, Sir Charles Dunstone’s broadband empire, TalkTalk Telecom, is swooping in like a knight to rescue nearly half a million of these abandoned souls.

Sky News, ever the bearer of intriguing news, has whispered that TalkTalk Telecom is all set to absorb a whopping 480,000 broadband customers from Shell Energy Retail UK, courtesy of UK energy superstar, Octopus Energy. But let’s not talk about the price, because apparently, that’s a bit hush-hush right now. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s $6 Billion ‘Investment’ in Nigeria: Because What’s a Little More Oil Among Friends?

Posted by John Donovan: 9 Dec 2023

In a recent spectacle of financial bravado, Shell, the oil giant that never met a fossil fuel it didn’t like, has unveiled its grand plan to pour a cool $6 billion into Nigeria’s oil and gas fields. Because, you know, nothing says commitment to the environment like doubling down on drilling.

Shell’s director of gas and upstream operations, Zoe Yujnovich, gushed about an “imminent $5 billion investment opportunity” in Nigeria’s offshore Bonga North oil project. She’s “really keen” to make this investment “as soon as possible.” It’s like hearing someone excitedly planning a party at a house that’s already on fire. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell in Hot Water for Playing Dumb in Rhode Island’s ‘Ticking Time Bomb’ Lawsuit

Posted by John Donovan: 9 Dec 2023

Over in Rhode Island, the courtroom’s getting hotter than a summer day in the Sahara, and Shell Oil is the star of the show. In a dazzling performance of corporate amnesia, Shell’s lawyers are shrugging off basic questions about the company’s involvement in its terminal at the Port of Providence. It’s like they’ve suddenly forgotten who’s in charge of not turning the area into an environmental disaster zone.

The Conservation Law Foundation (CLF), not to be outdone by Shell’s memory loss, filed a lawsuit back in 2017. They’re accusing Shell of basically rolling out the red carpet for flooding and other climate change-related party crashers at its petroleum storage terminal. CLF isn’t new to this rodeo; they’ve been roping in big oil facilities across Rhode Island, Massachusetts, and Connecticut. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Latest Magic Trick: Turning a Modest Energy Bill into a Financial Nightmare!

Posted by John Donovan: 7 Dec 2023

In a stunning display of numerical acrobatics, Shell Energy recently decided to play fast and loose with the concept of estimated meter readings, leaving one customer absolutely floored. Debbie Abbott, a 53-year-old who practically tiptoes around her gas usage, got the shock of her life when Shell handed her an energy bill almost 8,000% higher than her usual. Talk about inflation!

Debbie, who only cranks up her heating when her home turns into an igloo (14 degrees Celsius, to be precise), was used to seeing bills like £10.66 and £15.12. So, you can imagine her disbelief when Shell casually slid her a final gas bill of £1,197 as she switched to Octopus Energy. That’s not a bill; that’s a ransom note! read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Says ‘So Long’ to Retail Energy, Passes the Baton to Octopus

Posted by John Donovan: 7 Dec 2023

In the latest episode of “What Will Shell Do Next?”, the oil giant, known for its subtle as a sledgehammer approach to the environment, has decided to hand over its UK and Germany retail energy operations to Octopus Energy Group. The deal, which was inked faster than you can say “fossil fuels,” makes Octopus the new parent of 1.3 million former Shell customers. Shell’s subsidiary, Impello Limited, is probably waving goodbye with a tear in its corporate eye. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Pension Funds Get Memo: Ditch Oil & Gas

Shell is basically the tobacco industry of the energy world – they might as well be selling cigarettes. Their job? Keep the oil and gas flowing, consequences be damned.

Posted by John Donovan; 1 December 2023

In a plot twist that could be straight out of a Hollywood eco-thriller, pension schemes are being told to wake up and smell the carbon emissions. At the Pensions and Lifetime Savings Association’s ESG conference in London, the big talk was about ditching those oh-so-yesterday oil and gas investments. Because, you know, investing in the destruction of our planet is so 20th century.

Enter Tony Burdon, the chief of Make My Money Matter (MMMM), who’s been rallying the troops to write angry letters to their pension schemes. His message? If those fossil fuel fanboys at BP and Shell don’t clean up their act, it’s time to take our money and run. Oh, and he’s got Olivia Coleman from “The Crown” on board, because nothing says serious environmental policy like celebrity endorsements. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Plays Hot Potato with Household Energy Biz, Tosses It to Octopus in the Great British Energy Shuffle

Posted by John Donovan: 1 December 2023

In a move that screams “not it!”, Shell, the oil giant, has handed off its UK household energy and gas electricity business to Octopus, because why handle something tricky when you can just pass it along? Octopus, seemingly thrilled to catch what Shell tossed aside, is now Britain’s second-biggest energy supplier, hot on the heels of Centrica-owned British Gas.

Greg Jackson, the head honcho at Octopus, which began as a plucky underdog in 2015, is probably doing a victory dance right now. His company is about to inherit 1.3 million Shell Energy customers, boosting its total customer count to a whopping 6.6 million. That’s a lot of bills! read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.
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