While Europe swelters in record-breaking heat, Shell stays cool as a cucumber and defiantly plans to increase oil and gas production. It’s heartwarming to witness such dedication to contributing to the climate crisis while lining their own pockets. Truly, a match made in heaven.
Posted by John Donovan: July 27, 2023
In a stunning display of corporate restraint, British oil giant Shell reported a mere $5.1 billion in profits for the second quarter, triggering waves of gratitude and appreciation from climate activists across the globe. The figures came as a pleasant surprise, as analysts had anticipated an even higher windfall of $6 billion. Oh, Shell, you’ve truly outdone yourself!
Environmental campaigners, whose hearts are bursting with joy, condemned the profit figures as “obscene.” They simply can’t contain their delight as they watch Shell prioritize its shareholders’ happiness over the health of our planet. How thoughtful! And let’s not forget the beautiful billboard lovingly erected by Greenpeace activists outside Shell’s London headquarters, with the message “Our profit, your loss.” Such a touching sentiment!